How Do Indonesian Women and Western Men Connect?


Indonesian women and Western men marriages are increasingly popular in the last few years. How’s and why’s it happened is still the question mark. This article is the key to explain about that topic. Why are there many single Indonesian women seeking Western men for marriage? Why would Western guys select Indonesian ladies for marriage?

Indonesian womenWhy are Indonesian single women looking for Western men?

The first reason that Indonesian women marry foreign men is because most Indonesian men have a problem. I have to tell you many guys in Indonesia treat the woman badly, without respect. Women in this country are scared to get married with “violent” men. It happens a lot. I mean, single girls are afraid of men in their own country. An Indonesian woman keeps thinking about her marriage in the future. She is afraid that her husband beat her up, treat her like a “slave”, and so on. I know it is hard to live with such a man. Many women in this country have been treating like this and living in this miserable situation. However, there are many good men in Indonesia who respect the woman and treat their wife as Queens.


Indonesian women & Western men with kids

Indonesian women & Western men with kids (Google images)

The second reason is that Western men are famous by the lovely way they treat the woman. They respect their wife and treat the wife in a good manner. They give gifts, flowers to the wife on her important days like birthdays, anniversary etc. Especially, the gender freedom in the Western countries attract ladies in Indonesia. There are no more “domestic violence” anymore. They can come to the countries where they work and make money. They can see the bright future of their children. They live in the land of opportunities. The last thing is the physical attraction of these men that most women in Indonesia love about Western men.

What Western men think of Indonesian women?

Indonesian women are popular with men in the West by their small body, faithful and honest characteristics, being submissive, and the pretty face. Single men in the West looking for Indonesian women for marriage is because they think that these ladies are beautiful and sexy. They can get married with younger woman. Moreover, Indonesian women don’t care about the man’s materials. That means a poor Western man can get married with a young pretty girl in Indonesia.

Indonesian woman

Indonesian woman

So, Indonesian women dating foreign men and vice verse is common these days. When you go to visit Asian dating sites like, you will see thousands of Indonesian women seeking American men, white men, Australian men, Canadian men and other Western men. Also, there are thousands of profiles of single men in the West seeking Indonesian single girls as well.

In summary, single Indonesian women and foreign men connect with each other is because of the mutual benefits between them. In other words, there are some mutual advantages between an Indonesian wife and a Western husband share:

  • She is one-woman-one-man relationship.
  • She is a perfect housekeeper and mother role for kids.
  • She is hardworking and good money handler.
  • She is a good cooker.
  • She can come to the West and make good money.
  • He is handsome, friendly and romantic to women
  • He treats her with respects and let her freely choose her own careers.
  • He is tall, strong and powerful

I hope this article gives you some ideas about how’s and why’s relationships and marriages between Indonesian women and Western men occurred.

Author: Linda LamLinda Lam
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3 thoughts on “How Do Indonesian Women and Western Men Connect?

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  1. I’ve been married for 15+ years to an Indonesian woman. I know several similar marriages. The article has some truth but is a little too broad.

    Indonesians fall into two top level groups: native Indonesians and ethnic Chinese. Both groups tend to vary in their opinions and issues from island to island (Java, Bali, Sumatra, etc). Many are Muslims but there are Christian and Buddhist minorities.

    Some Indonesian men are good but many of them are money hungry, boring, stuck, criminal, traditional or just losers. Some Indonesian women want more: they want to live a Western country, they want cleanliness and fairness and respect, they want live “in a Hollywood movie” and they are just tired of the Indonesian culture and way of life. They get married and jump into a new, different life. It may not work out, sometimes they find out lots of bad things about Western countries, but, by then, they are already committed.

    Over time, an Indonesian woman will adopt more Western ways, even if you don’t want her to.

    My wife doesn’t like to keep house. She also has trouble relating to our son because our son is so Westernized. Personally, I don’t like Indonesian food but I know guys that do like it. It’s kind of meat-and-potatoes, not haute cuisine.

    Indonesian women work hard and can make basic money in the West but I don’t know any who work in professional jobs such as doctor, lawyer or engineer or make “career salaries”. Some are happy; basic money from a basic job is more than they had in Indonesia. Others are frustrated; they would have had better jobs if they stayed in Indonesia.

    Western men can be a disappointment. After the honeymoon wears off, we can be inconsiderate, frustrating and difficult. It’s also hard to be far away from family permanently. But it is always much different than being married to an Indonesian man.

    Frankly, I think that Western men should consider other countries ahead of Indonesia or, if they do go to Indonesia, stick with the Christian Chinese or Buddhist Balinese. The Muslims are sheltered and not worth the trouble (if you ask me); it is better to focus on women who are more aligned with Western culture to begin with.

  2. Oh What a coincidence to have the same name with the previous comment…
    But, I don’t have the same thought…

    I agree with what the author said.
    Those are the reasons I prefer western men to indonesian men.
    I don’t say Indonesian men are bad. I have so many Indonesian men friends, some are good some are bad.
    Some good guys are good husbands too, some are not.
    It’s good to have them as friends.
    But I won’t choose Indonesian to be my husband.
    It’s true we can’t generalized indonesian men.
    But the author has already mentioned that, didn’t you read that? She said “most of them”, not ALL of them.

    “most guys in Indonesia treat the woman badly, without respect”

    “she afraid that her husband beat her up, treat her like a “slave””

    “many women in this country have been treating like this and living in this miserable situation”

    This is the truth. This is what hapenned in indonesia. We can’t close our eyes nor ears to this fact. Just because you have a very kind and great indonesian husband and being treated like a princess, doesn’t mean all women has the same experience with you.

    I’m Indonesian, and single. I haven’t experienced anything yet.
    But I see, I hear, aware, and concern about this issue..
    Just accept the fact that most of Indonesian men are just like that.

    Yes, it’s just about preference.
    And I prefer not to choose Indonesian.

    Bissous ?

  3. I must say you missunderstand our local men.not all of them treat our women bad.Like in every place there must be good and bad people but not all of them are bad.You can’t generalise all Indonesian men as bad men.
    I’m an Indonesian woman and I prefer being with Indonesian man.It’s just preference anyway.


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