There are some members at our Asian dating site asked me about what to do or things to discuss before getting married with a single woman or man they met online. So, I am writing this article to briefly discuss about this. This is based on my personal experience and what I’ve read from online tips. I’ve met my husband online 10 years ago and I like to share some advice.
It does not matter if you are an Asian man who met a woman and go back to your original hometown to get married or you are a western man who met an Asian woman, as well as you are an Asian lady who met a single man in the West, you should communicate about what your expectations about married life before jumping on it. Don’t expect the married life as bright as the light. There are some dark sides that you need to discuss with your significant partner.
- Sex is the most important thing in your relationship so make sure you are completely satisfied. Some people are being single for a long time so when they have sex with their second half, they feel great and they think they are satisfied, but in fact, it is not. So, think about this matter as it is very important for your married life.
- Home mortgage is the thing you need to talk with your future soul mate. If you live in the US, Canada, Australia or other Western countries and you own a house, most of us have an outstanding debt called home mortgage, then you need to briefly explain about this or she may not understand or get scared of the big debt you currently have. For example, you live in Los Angeles of California and buy a house for $400,000, put 20% for down payment and still owe $320,000. This is the big money in Asia, like 15 millions pesos in Philippines, 2 millions Chinese Yuan, 11 millions Thai Baht, 1.3 billions Cambodian Riel, 6.8 billions Vietnamese Dong and so on.
- You and your partner may need to discuss about how many children are enough. Do you want kids or how many are questions you should ask your partner. Especially, when Asian men in the West or Western men get married with middle-aged Asian ladies (U40+) who are widowed or divorced, you guys should ask them about these questions.
- Where to live is the question for a woman. You should as your fiancé about where to live. Does he own a house? Does he live with his parents and siblings? Ask him when you come to the West, where are you two going to live? In the West, most people are independent so they usually don’t live with their parents and/or siblings, unless they are poor who can’t afford their own place so they have to share the rent with their family.
- For most of Christian Asian and Western people, they all believe in God. So, make sure you ask your partner what their religion is and if they want to join your Christian religion. Some people want to keep their own religion.
- Household errands are the questions you don’t have to ask if you marry an Asian wife. Most Asian wives are perfect in household work like washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking meals, etc.
- If you are an Asian man who gets married, then you know about tie family obligations. Most Asian people are tie with their family, siblings and relatives. Some of them don’t even need friends but family is just enough for them. If you are a Western man, then you should ask about this with her.
- Career is also an important issue you need to discuss with your future partner. Most of Asian ladies don’t work after they have babies. They just stay home to handle errands and take care of the kids. So you need to talk to her about the busy lifestyle in the West, that she needs to work and share the bills with you.
- When it comes to money, it is hard to ask but you should talk straightly about bank accounts and bill sharing with your future partner. Most married couples argue about this money issue so straight it out right now. Do you want to share a bank account or open an account under your own name? How about sharing bills like home mortgage, utilities, medical insurance, and etc.
Every year, there are many marriages from Asian-Asian singles and Western-Asian personals. When they come to the Western countries, including America, Canada, Australia, Italy, France, UK, and so on, there are about 25% couples broke. The major reason that causes them separated or divorced is the lack of communication which lead to wrong understanding from one of another. You need to understand that the lifestyle in the West is different from Asia. The United States of America is the land of opportunities for those who are smart and working hard.